There is plenty of advice out there telling parents how to act around their children during a divorce. What is most important is to understand that there is no “right way.” The process is highly emotional and takes its toll on everyone involved — including children. Everyone will react to the divorce differently; therefore, families need to do what works best for their children and their situation.
From a legal standpoint, however, it is important that parents are cautious with what they say or do around their children during the divorce. This is because certain issues may arise that force the courts to step in and make decisions on behalf of the children — especially if parents cannot act in the best interests of their children.
Things Parents Can Control
Often divorcing parents feel as though they are out of control of most of what happens in their divorce. While it is true that some things are left to the courts, parents still have control over five key factors:
- You can control how the divorce is handled legally. You and your spouse can control how the process will go. Ongoing courtroom litigation is costly and will be harder on you and your children versus resolving issues out of court in a peaceful manner. Unfortunately, you can only control what you do to help the divorce stay amicable — you cannot control your spouse.
- You are in control of what you do for your children during the divorce. Just because you are getting divorced does not mean you are not there to see your children in the morning, take them to school, eat meals with them, or address their needs. You are in control of how active you are in their lives during and after the divorce.
- You can control your emotions around the children. Though it may be difficult, you can try to keep yourself together around your children. Your grieving and emotions should be left for when the children are not present.
- You control how you act or speak regarding your ex-spouse. There is no need to bad mouth or be uncivil to your ex-spouse. Instead, treat your ex-spouse with respect and never fight in front of the children. Even if you are not blatantly uncivil, realize kids can still pick up on the tension between you and your ex-spouse.
- You can keep your children connected to the world. Let your children have play dates and keep up their friendships and regular activities. The more their schedule and lifestyle stays unchanged, the easier the divorce process will be for them.
Consider Alternative Dispute Resolution for Your Divorce – Contact Romanowski Law Offices
Instead of engaging in long-term litigation, you and your spouse can use alternative dispute resolution offered through the courts. These methods are meant to avoid long-term court litigation and range from collaborative divorces to mediation to arbitration. Contact Romanowski Law Offices to explore your options for alternative dispute resolution today. Call us at 732-603-8585 or contact us online to schedule a consultation.