If you are a newly divorced parental figure in a child’s life, you may be concerned about what will happen to holiday celebrations from here on out. Child custody rulings aside, kids will most likely want to spend time with each parent, in most cases. That can present a problem between you and your ex. A reasonable agreement must be achieved in such a manner that as little stress as possible is created.
Divorces aren’t easy, and the months and years following can be volatile. Hopefully, with the following suggestions, everybody can get through these trying times intact.
Holidays Last for Days
Chances are the celebration of a holiday will last for more than one singular day. For major holidays, kids usually get ample time off from school so that time with each parent can be spent relatively equally. Christmas, for example, may be on the 25th, but that doesn’t mean that the time before and after is useless.
Don’t Overcompensate Or Go Overboard
Just because you may feel guilty about a divorce doesn’t mean that your children should be showered with gifts as overcompensation. Don’t go overboard! Additionally, this can cause what could be viewed as competition for the affection of your children.
Remember, too, that some kids will try to take advantage of this situation all year long, not just during the holidays. They may pit one parent against the other and compare gifts, etc. Watch out for this behavior.
Don’t Make the Kids Worry or Feel Guilty
Chances are, your kids already feel bad enough that the two of you are splitting up. Don’t add insult to injury. Never degrade your ex in front of the children, friends, or family. Frequently, children of divorce feel that the split between their parents is their fault. Do what you can to dissuade those feelings, particularly around the holidays. Don’t make them feel bad for wanting to spend some of the holiday with their other parent.
Let It Roll Off
Being complacent goes against the grain for any number of people. You don’t want to let someone walk all over you. Neither, however, do you have to escalate everything to the nth degree or respond negatively to every word from the mouth of your ex. There’s a fine line here but try to keep the peace. If they become unruly, make sure that your responses are friendly, civil, simple, brief, and informative – that’s it.
Try to Be Reasonable
If you don’t feel that your ex is being reasonable, this becomes an even bigger challenge. Nonetheless, while not giving in to every one of their demands and acting like a doormat, you do need to try to be as flexible and reasonable as possible when it comes to who gets to spend how much time with the kids. If you and your ex can work it out long enough for the entire family to celebrate together, even better. But if that’s going to do nothing but cause more anger, stress, and strain, forget about it.
Don’t Stress Your Kids Out
When parenting-time causes arguments, and children are exposed to those disagreements, it makes them worry and stresses them out. So much for a long awaited holiday! If all kids hear is you two fighting, Christmas (and other holidays) could be destroyed for more than just one year. This holiday, and those in the future, could be ruined by unhappiness, worry, and guilt – all needless on the part of your children.
Romanowski Law Offices Helps with Divorces And Child Custody
Romanowski Law Offices handles divorce and separation cases, child custody cases, alimony, general family law, and more. In times like these, you need a competent and dedicated partner on your side. We’ve got your back. Contact us today to discuss how we can be of assistance and help you through some trying times.